Spass mit Computern (für IT-ler)

[lukas85]

Assembler as it REALLY is

	MNEMONIC		INSTRUCTION

	AAC			Alter All Commands
	AAR			Alter at Random
	AB			Add Backwards
	AFVC			Add Finagle's Variable Constant
	AIB			Attack Innocent Bystander
	AWTT			Assemble with Tinker Toys
	BAC			Branch to Alpha Centauri
	BAF			Blow all Fuses
	BAFL			Branch and Flush
	BBIL			Branch on Burned-Out Indicator Light
	BBT			Branch on Binary Tree
	BBW			Branch Both Ways
	BCIL			Branch Creating Infinite Loop
	BDC			Break Down and Cry
	BDT			Burn Data Tree
	BEW			Branch Either Way
	BF			Belch Fire
	BH			Branch and Hang
	BMR			Branch Multiple Registers
	BOB			Branch on Bug
	BOD			Beat on the Disk
	BOI			Byte Operator Immediately
	BPDI			Be Polite, Don't Interrupt
	BPO			Branch on Power Off
	BRSS			Branch on Sunspot
	BST			Backspace and Stretch Tape
	BW			Branch on Whim
	CBNC			Close, but no Cigar
	CDC			Close Disk Cover
  	CDIOOAZ			Calm Down, It's Only Ones and Zeroes
	CEMU			Close Eyes and Monkey With User Space
	CH			Create Havoc
	CLBR			Clobber Register
	CLBRI			Clobber Register Immediately
	CM			Circulate Memory
	CMD			Compare Meaningless Data
	CML			Compute Meaning of Life
	CNB			Cause Nervous Breakdown
	COLB			Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
	CPPR			Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
	CRASH			Continue Running After Stop or Halt
	CRB			Crash and Burn
	CRN			Convert to Roman Numerals
	CS			Crash System
	CSL			Curse and Swear Loudly
	CU			Convert to Unary
	CVG			Convert to Garbage
	CWOM			Complement Write-only Memory
	CZZC			Convert Zone to Zip Code
	DBTP			Drop Back Ten and Punt
	DBZ			Divide by Zero
	DC			Divide and Conquer
	DDC			Dally During Calculations
	DLN			Don't Look Now...
	DMNS			Do What I Mean, Not What I Say
	DMPE			Decide to Major in Phys. Ed.
	DMPK			Destroy Memory Protect Key
	DNPG			Do Not Pass Go
	DO			Divide and Overflow
	DOC			Drive Operator Crazy
	DPMI			Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
	DPR			Destroy Program
	DTC			Destroy This Command
	DTE			Decrement Telephone Extension
	DTVFL			Destroy Third Variable From Left
	DW			Destroy World
	EBB			Edit and Blank Buffer
	ECO			Electrocute Computer Operator
	EEOIFNO			Execute Every Other Instruction From
				   Now On
	EFD			Emulate Frisbee Using Disk Pack
	EIAO			Execute In Any Order
	EIOC			Execute Invalid Op-code
	EMPC			Emulate Pocket Calculator
	EMSE			Edit and Mark Something Else
	ENF			Emit Noxious Fumes
	EP			Execute Programmer
	EPI			Execute Programmer Immediately
	EROS			Erase Read-only Storage
	EXOP			Execute Operator
	EXPP			Execute Political Prisoner
	FLI			Flash Lights Impressively
	FSM			Fold, Spindle and Mutilate
	FSRA			Forms Skip and Run Away
	GCAR			Get Correct Answer Regardless
	GDP			Grin Defiantly at Programmer
	GFD			Go Forth and Divide
	GFM			Go Forth and Multiply
	HCF			Halt and Catch Fire
	HCP			Hide Central Processor
	IAE			Ignore All Exceptions
	IBP			Insert Bug and Proceed
	IIB			Ignore Inquiry and Branch
	ISC			Insert Sarcastic Comments
	JTZ			Jump to Twilight Zone
	LAP			Laugh At Programmer
	LCC			Load and Clear Core
	LPA			Lead Programmer Astray
	MAZ			Multiply Answer by Zero
	MBR			Multiply and be Fruitful
	MLR			Move and Lose Record
	MW			Malfunction Whenever
	MWAG			Make Wild-Assed Guess
	MWT			Malfunction Without Telling
	OML			Obey Murphy's Laws
	P$*!			Punch Obscenity
	PBC			Print and Break Chain
	PD			Play Dead
	PDSK			Punch Disk
	PEHC			Punch Extra Holes in Cards
	PFD			Punt on Fourth Down
	PI			Punch Invalid
	PNRP			Print Nasty Replies to Programmer
	POCL			Punch Out Console Lights
	POPI			Punch Operator Immediately
	PVLC			Punch Variable Length Card
	RA			Randomize Answer
	RASC			Read and Shred Card
	RCB			Read Command Backwards
	RD			Reverse Directions
	RDA			Refuse to Disclose Answer
	RDB			Run Disk Backwards
	RDS			Read Sideways
	RIRG			Read Inter-record Gap
	RLI			Rotate Left Indefinitely
	ROC			Randomize Op Codes
	ROO			Rub Out Operator
	RPB			Read Print and Blush
	RPM			Read Programmer's Mind
	RRSGWSSNK		Round and Round She Goes, Where
				   She Stops, Nobody Knows
	RSD			On Read Error Self-Destruct
	RSTOM			Read From Store-only Memory
	RTS			Return To Sender
	RWCR			Rewind Card Reader
	SAI			Skip All Instructions
	SAS			Sit And Spin
	SCCA			Short Circuit on Correct Answer
	SFH			Set Flags to Half-mast
	SFT			Stall For Time
	SHAB			Shift a Bit
	SHABM			Shift a Bit More
	SLP			Sharpen Light Pen
	SMR			Skip on Meaningless Result
	SOS			Sign off, Stupid
	SOT			Sit on a Tack
	SPS			Set Panel Switches
	SPSW			Scramble Program Status Word
	SQPC			Sit Quietly and Play With Your Crayons
	SRDR			Shift Right Double Ridiculous
	SRSD			Seek Record and Scar Disk
	SRZ			Subtract and Reset to Zero
	SSJ			Select Stacker and Jam
	STA			Store Anywhere
	STROM			Store in Read-only Memory
	TARC			Take Arithmetic Review Course
	TDB			Transfer and Drop Bits
	TLO			Turn Indicator Lights Off
	TN			Take a Nap
	TPDH			Tell Programmer to Do it Him/Herself
	TPF			Turn Power Off
	TPN			Turn Power On
	TTA			Try, Try Again
	UCB			Uncouple CPU and Branch
	UER			Update and Erase Record
	ULDA			Unload Accumulator
	UP			Understand Program
	UPCI			Update Card In Place
	WBT			Water Binary Tree
	WEMG			Write Eighteen Minute Gap
	WF			Wait Forever
	WHFO			Wait Until Hell Freezes Over
	WI			Write Illegibly
	WPM			Write Programmer's Mind
	WWLR			Write Wrong-Length Record
	WSWW			Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways
	XSP			Execute Systems Programmer
	ZAR			Zero Any Register
        ACC                     Advance CPU clock
        AEE                     Absolve engineering errors
        BB                      Branch on bug
        BIRM                    Branch on index register missing
        BOHP                    Bribe operator for higher priority
        BSO                     Branch on sleepy operator
        CCD                     Clear core and dump
        EC                      Eat card
        EM                      Emulate 407
        EMW                     Emulate Matag washer
        IAI                     Inquire and ignore
        KCE                     Kill consultant on error
        LSPSW                   Load and scrample PSW
        MST                     Mount scotch tape
        PBC                     Print and break chain
        PLSC                    Perform light show on console
        PPSW                    Pack program status word
        RBT                     Rewind and break tape
        RDI                     Reverse dum immediate
        RT                      Reduce thruput
        SIP                     Store indefinite precision
        SPD                     Spin dry disc
        SRCC                    Select reader and chew cards
        TSH                     Trap secretary and halt
        UNPD                    Unplug and dump

Text stammt von dieser Seite:
http://www.csd.uwo.ca/~magi/personal...ALLY%20is.html

[HOEFI]

Hihi, het e paar lustigi drunder !

[lukas85]

DBZ (Divide By Zero) cha wahrschinlech nur de Chuck Norris usfüehre

[HOEFI]

Dann musst du aber zuerst SCNM ausführen ;-)!

Switch to Chuck Norris Mode

[Timber]

oh gott bin ich froh das hinter mir gelassen zu haben

[suprafan]

Wäre mal interessant, zu welchem Prozessor dieser Befehlssatz gehört
Aber echte Männer programmieren sowieso nur in Brainf*ck (siehe Wikipedia)

[lukas85]

Zitat von suprafan

Wäre mal interessant, zu welchem Prozessor dieser Befehlssatz gehört
Aber echte Männer programmieren sowieso nur in Brainf*ck (siehe Wikipedia)

Nach SRCC (Select Reader and Chew Cards) zu urteilen muss dieser Befehlssatz zu einem alten Prozessor gehören..

Wer Brain******** programmiert hat vermutlich weder andere Hobbies noch Freunde.

[suprafan]

Passt so schön hier rein:
http://i.imgur.com/1gF1j.jpg

[lukas85]